Mark Manson on Dating

Summarized by Christian Amsterdan

In this great informal workshop, Mark Manson teaches the key lessons from his book “Models”. Couple of the insights:

In many situations in life, we can progress if we try to meet each other’s needs. Convince, win and conquer the woman. Women normally want to win a man and settle with him. Successful Dating Stop viewing dating as a performance but as collaboration. You cannot win without the other person. Improve your value, dominate the club, make her laugh and tease her. When you put on a performance, you put in more efforts with little results and you end up degrading yourself. When you take dating as a performance, it means you are not good enough. Women also behave in this manner by believing that if they act in a certain way the men will like them. Evolution Human beings are normally compared to chimpanzees. When chimpanzees are born, they take 1 or two years to become self-sufficient while humans take 13 years. We have emotional mechanisms which make us attached to our parents, and our parents attached to us. From the time we were babies, we depend on our parents for emotional support and this attachment is important for survival. Men are more comfortable talking about fucking rather than emotional needs. People who have attachment problems in their family have the same problem in their relationships. For instance, when a boy studies in all boys’ school, he has no exposure to women and idolizes his mother. He grows up not knowing how to relate to women and when in a relationship becomes possessive and jealous. Dating Most men are not direct when asking a girl for a date. This is because they are ashamed to admit they want sex. Accept yourself the way you are; whether short, fat, etc. If you do, you will not feel that you need to compensate. Express your sexuality freely. When you approach a woman and choke up because you are nervous, admit this to her. She will encourage you because of your honesty. In bed also, if you have issues, be open about it and your honesty will be endearing to her.