4 Tips to Overcome Approach Anxiety

Imagine this for a moment: She walks in, looking all hot and breezy. A smile on her face.

Your heart starts thumping. You absolutely have to meet this girl. You must talk to her.  You have to get her to like you. You. Just. Have. To.

Like a magnet she draws you in. You find yourself walking towards her, like a puppet on strings.

You’re getting closer and closer, then you snap back to reality and it hits you. You’re getting closer and closer.

Suddenly you feel like you’ve been doused in fire. You break out in cold in sweat. Are you getting hives?

Walkawaywalkway. Walk. Away!

Welcome to the nightmare of approach anxiety. Here are some things that make the pick-up boogieman go away. Hint: it all starts from the inside.

Small Chunk It

You don’t have to ask her out, get her phone number or full-on flirt with her. Just take the first very step and say hello. Then next time you approach someone, you say hello and ask for the time. Every time you add something new to the interaction until you are comfortable to take it all the way to asking her out.

Practice With Ugly People

Practice approaching ugly people you really don’t care about. Just say hello to everyone you meet and strike up a conversation – even if it is a short one – about anything, e.g. the elevator is slow, the weather sucks, anything really to get into the mood of talking to random strangers. Practice with anyone. Old and young. Men and women. Any interaction will slowly but surely reduce your approach anxiety.

Read More

Reading enriches the mind and makes you feel smarter. Smart people are more likely to have confidence than ignoramuses right? This also gives you a bunch of topics to make for substantial conversations. That’s two birds with one stone right there.

Be Authentic

Like yourself. Be true to yourself. This builds confidence because you are putting yourself out there and being genuine. People will pick up on this. Hot, smart women would take authenticity over any well-strategized game any day.


It can’t hurt to have two or three mini-routines prepared in case you run out of ideas. So do your homework and you will always have something interesting to say.

In the end what gets you over approach anxiety is knowing that you can do it. And what that all boils down to is confidence. Check these out for more tips.

High self-esteem is the name of the game:


It’s not about the game, it’s about authenticity:


It may be a prank, but look at all the numbers he got!